Murderous Meatballs: Who Knew?

First of all that alliteration in the title: So purposeful

Second, I know two posts in one evening is rather much however, I feel the need to share with the blog community (also known as my room mate upstairs) a reflection about a cuisine revelation I had yesterday evening.

I never knew until last night apparently, or this morning while reading the texts sent last night, that inanimate objects that you usually ingest can somehow grow into killing machines. I got attacked last night, by meat balls. They had this really awkward sweetness to them. Which was rather unpleasant because meatballs are supposed to taste like zesty robust glorious italianness, or very neutral, like Sweden. Irregardless, they apparently proceeded to become mobile and attack my very classy white topped dress. That is very disheartening, and I really want to know what I ever did to the meatball community to deserve such violent treatment. I actually ate the sweet meatball, it was rather unnerving, and I get attacked as a result? Goes to show the food community out there that balls of meat are not to be trusted. Especially the ground beef kind.

The part that concerns me the most, is that I made this realization last evening, and felt the desperate urge to share this knowledge, with my roommate Murley. For some reason unknown to God, I needed to save the rest of the world from meatball madness (more alliteration, LOVE IT) and spread the good word.

Her response was very a-typical Murley, and highlighted the positive point to my evening. There was for a brief period in my evening, a time where meat and balls were in my vicinity. However Murley like I said in my awkwardly coherent response (please note, sarcasm) that the meat in ball form was not that from a male form. Quite sad, I know, and in my highly inebriated state I still managed to highlight my lack of physical attention (yes fellas, girls like to get physical, it's not just in the movies, however more often than not, it is in fact you that wants it less than we do)

Ladies, all I have to say is that for now, until this off kiltered relationship with the food gods is mended, please, the only meat-balls any of us should be encouraged to allow in our vicinity are those attached to a rather good looking man (preferably Patrick Dempsey, god he's gorgeous).

Nuff Said.

Mel Petes

Hello Irony, Welcome To My Life

Irony: an outcome of events contrary to what was, or might have been, expected.
Karma: action, seen as bringing upon oneself inevitable results, good or bad, either in this life or in a reincarnation

Ladies and gentlemen let me tell you the two principles that continually come back into my life.

Two philosophies I just can't seem to shake.

And let me tell you, when either of these are not on your side, it pretty much sucks.

Sorry rooms, this isn't going to be the most clever and witty entry. Life is beautiful still, like the title of this blog says however, currently it's not in its brightest of times. Pathetic as it sounds, I do have a weak spot, and yet again it has been triggered. Again, I have been taken for an idiot. Because the one thing that makes me tick, that clinches inside of me, blew up in my face yet again. I really need to start anew, because the sickness I feel within myself at this given moment, is truly overwhelming. The sad part of it all is that I can't even convey what I'm feeling to those around me because I feel so completely embarrassed to do so.

It disgusts me that this happened again. I have been made a fool of, and yet again and the only thought in my head is this endless screaming that just can't seem to stop. I want to not be able to feel anything like I used to. This whole love, and mushy crap, just needs to let me be. Because it truly is overwhelming, and I hate it. It makes me crazy. It makes me hate myself. It makes me hurt. I don't hurt. I am indestructible. And no matter what anybody tells me, I still can not convince myself to fall out of love. And god how badly I just want to fall out of love for this reason:

I cried this week. I cannot tell you the last time I cried. But I did last week. It happens when I feel helpless. Thank God Lo was there with the assist, she is my saving grace as usual. She just listened, and that was what I needed. I needed someone to just listen, really really get in there with good ears listen all the way and make a person feel safe. I know you won't read this but, thank you Lo. Just thank you. I don't think I tell you this enough, but you save me more often than you know.

I just want to know why, what I did, what I said, what expectations that were made that were too much to handle, who said something, to have a change of heart. Can someone, anyone, just be honest with me for once? That would be fantastic to have someone just give me the truth. What do I need to do, to get my happy ending already. Why does it seem like the undeserving get it all, when all I'm asking for is for honesty.

Like I said, apologies for the Debbie downer state of this post. However the intention of this blog was not necessarily to always be entertaining.

Well Buddah, I'm really trying here, some good karma would be quite appreciated.

Irony, can yah just leave me alone? That would be great. Tell Alanis to get a life.

In the meantime, can I just get the truth here people? Any would suffice.

Grazie.

Mel Petes

Country Boy's Got it Goin On

There's something sexy about the rain
She said as it came pouring down
It feels like kisses on my skin
She spread her arms and spun around
In a summer island storm
In a field of sugarcane
She taught me how and showed me why
There's something sexy about the rain
And sometimes it rained all night
And everything she did was perfect
And every way we were was right
We loved like there was no tomorrow
Then suddenly tomorrow came
And it was raining at the airport
And kept on raining on the plane
She only loved me for a season
But my heart won't ever be the same
Even now her love's the reason
There's something sexy about the rain
And sometimes when it's pouring down
I feel her kisses on my skin
I spread my arms and spin around
And let that summer island storm
Hit me like a hurricane
It's like she's right here whispering
There's something sexy about the rain
She followed me back to the city
In a picture in my mind
She's still young and she's still pretty
And even after all this time
There's something sexy about the rain
She said as it came pouring down
It feels like kisses on my skin
She spread her arms and spun around
In a summer island storm
In a field, in a field of sugarcane
She taught me how and showed me why
There's something sexy about the rain
She taught me how and she's still why
There's something sexy about the rain
Something sexy about the rain
Feels like kisses on my skin
In a summer island storm
Something sexy

Oh Kenny, you're such a romantic.

killer plant attack

think about this, trees attacking human kind through a release of a freaky chemical that makes the humans go all suicidal on each other. however the cute little couple who realizes their undying love for each other survive the freaky muderous plant attack. pretty cool huh? NOT. Ladies and gentlemen, I think this right here is the reason why you should never allow a tree hugger to make a movie. seriously. why do we give crazy tree hugger people all of these millions of dollars to make movies about trees taking out their revenge on mankind? this right here is the effect of scientology. crazy hippie celebrities get behind a camera and kill all the happy people through PLANT POWER. That makes me think of "Captain planet, he's our hero, gonna take pollution down to zero".......honestly people if you want to freak out about taking care of good ole mother earth why not do what everyone did in the 9o's and make a crazy cartoon out of it? Look at our generation now....we're the instigators of the green movement that has taken the world by storm. GO GREEN OR GO HOME! That is a thanks to educational cartoons like captain planet who through the tails of superheros saving the world from greedy capitalists one oil spill at a time. NOT THROUGH MOVIES ABOUT KILLER PLANTS. That's just absurd. talking about it makes me giggle. then throw in mark whalberg and the hilarity increases exponentially. wow. people. fear the hippies. they make terrible movies.

debbie downer: take a prozac

Ladies and germs, I feel the need to share a beef of mine. I love all of my friends, with all of my heart. I truly, truly do. However what I have a hard time dealing with is people who choose to not make themselves happy. And on that note let me tell you the power of choice in your lives here blogging (much like jogging but w/o the silent j, and well a bl instead). Understanding that you choose the path in your life can be a powerful realization. One chooses what to eat, one chooses whom to love, one chooses to smile, and one also chooses to be ignorant to the choices that they make. People, here is something that really is not revolutionary but maybe a nice gentle reminder, you are the owner of your person. Take ownership of it and the fact that it is you who primarily can control your destiny. Do not fall victim to the lazy mentality that things are done to you, you set many of the wheels in motion for the events that happen in your life. Granted, I am empathetic to certain events completely left in the hands of a superior being, but for the most part it is YOU loves. If you want something different than what is your present, than take the power and change it. Scary yes, but by god I am sure that in the long run it will probably be better than dwelling on unsatisfaction. That's the great thing about life, is that even when you feel lost you can choose to find your way back. Many times with the help of those around you, because people are inherently beautiful. Or at least I think they are.

Realization number 2, life is not all that bad, and the world will probably not come to an end because of some irrelevant detail in your life, or because of choices you make. We are way too young to not understand this fact. Life is beautiful no matter how light or dark it is. We are so lucky to be in the thick of it. Many times, life is pretty hysterical. Why not find the humor in its awkwardness? Theme of tonight's post: You only live once, you might as well enjoy it.

Salute Your Dignity Goodbye

Hello Blogworld,

There is a familiar saying in my house called "PLD". For those of you who do not know, PLD is the most useful abbreviation in the english language. It stands for "Poor Life Decision". Plural, PLD's refers to the collaborative total number of moments in your life where you sit and think to yourself "What, the, fuck". My roomates and I have become spokes models for the phrase, and with pride I might add. Lately however, I have been rather dry of my PLD making abilities. Call it a dry spell, but my life had been lacking those moments that really 'wow' people. That is until last night.

Call it a lack of self control, I like to call it the curse of female stupidity. After a whirlwhind of a Thursday in preparations for the senior bar crawl that happens every year, it was time to board the bus, and put your game faces on for the night. Blackouts, well these were inevitable and well recieved among many. Inhibitions were aparently thrown to the wind. Some individuals known to myself even wandered quite inebriated to the neighboring suburbs, shoeless, broke, and cell phone less. Now that's a night out in my eyes. These kind of things can be chalked up to the ultimate PLD. No, no, my PLD was much more subtle, yet not less shocking.

Well after several rounds of delicious shots and some not so delicious ones mel petes was in rare form. Or rather a form that hasn't come out in a while. Needless to say conversations were had amongst myself and a 'blast from the past'. During these rather heated discussions there was a little man inside of my head having a field day because the irony of the situation would have made the writers of those very cheezy soap operas proud. I'm ready for my Oscar now thank you. For some reason this little man wrote words for me to say that were rather empowering. I laid it out to 'blast from the past' like no tomorrow. I was tired of being a rag doll in his twisted emotional soul searching. I had the power back, and I loved that. However after a few rambunctious rounds of making out, I knew that I had gotten myself into trouble, so I do what any self respecting girl would do in this situation of long lost whatever returning. I asked him to walk me home. The shock on my roomates faces as he walked in the door was priceless. Again, I put "The Young and the Restless" to shame. More talking, mixed with much more making out, led me to sending him home so I could go to bed. Well more so I could shove my face with the pepperoni goodness in my fridge. Successful night. I might say so.

Suprisingly, he held true to his promise today. Shocking. Could this be a turnaround? That little man inside my head is laughing at me. Feverishly. I choose to agree with the little man.

Well kids, trust me, I still have huge skeptisism. This would open a huge can of worms that I might like to stay closed. Go ahead, laugh. I am.

The Shakedown

Well folks let me tell you how thick the hipocricy is getting around here. I love people who talk a great game yet have no follow through. This seems to be more commonly attributed to anything male. Guys, sorry to say it but that extra X chromosome might do yah some good sometimes. The funny thing is, they tend to have expectations from me, yet they strike out everytime at the plate, or more importantly they rarely swing.

Basically I am saying this to all men, and to all the females out there as well. If you are going to do something, do it well, or do not do it at all. This yeilds true in work, school, and yes even play. It seems that the most arrogant and self involved have the strongest tendency to posess this fabulous talent I like to call the art of inflation. And that folks is where I come in, to deflate. It gets me in trouble, and often times leads to many dateless nights, but in all honesty I am ok with that.

Some may say I am a little blunt. Shocking yes, but I tend to say the things that others refuse to say. Granted college has tamed me quite a bit, however now that it is my last 'hurrah' so to speak at this fine institution, i'm becoming a little bit more overzealous. Again shocking, I know but please bear with me here. I promise this gets gooooood. I have no sympathy for people, because I feel most people are just way too darn whiney. Don't take on something you can't or don't want to handle. MAN UP so to speak, then don't cry when I call you out on it. Do your job, do it right, or get the hell out.

Basically life's new motto: Step up or Step out.

This has very practical application to all walks of life. Just say it three times, let it sink in, it's kind of like a drug. Feels real nice right?

Example number 2 for the evening (Sorry for the scatter brained ness, it's how I've been operating since i've stopped writing).

Again male stupidity. I absolutely love it. And I reflected on my very first and desperate post. From that time, I have been expected to be the BFF as well as get a whole boat load of walked on. Then there's the audacity to weakly admit a longing for my attention again, via text. Alright guys let me just throw this out there. If you are getting all sentimental with a girl even while you're so inebriated that you wouldn't be able to call Obama black, texting isn't necessarily the most touching. Maybe a drunken voicemail, that might suffice, but again i'm going to throw it out there when I say "Step up or Step out". I laughed, then went to sleep. Pathetic.

I don't really feel like writing anymore, I promise these things will get much better in due time. I tend to get more entertaining after a few of these. As of late, they're just a cyber space hiding spot for those dark and dirty secrets I don't have.

oh hello

well needless to say i slept better last night as a result of this thing.

so we're getting somewhere. one. more. week. is all i have to say. then I truly get to enjoy a summer of relaxation. I'm tired. all the time. and pretty darn sick and tired of it.

thought about writing him back. neglected to do so. i think that was a good idea.

pretty pumped to go home. see the fam. get away. im in need of a getaway.

had a fulfilling day with the cafe today. which i thought was nice. i enjoyed getting this place to a standard that is acceptable to me. hopefully the managers can do the same.

i'm tired now. i forego my paper for sleep yet again.

Well here goes. There's an akward reason for this blog. First, it's for absolutely no one but myself to see. Second, it's made to prevent those nights were I get so blacked out I cannot control myself and everything that's pent up comes pouring word vomit style. So basically it's for protection. Mostly from myself and my inability to release what goes on inside my head. Not saying that it's always a bad thing. I like to think that sometimes it's quippy wit that comes out of my head. But lately, that little feeling that I try to keep telling myself is ok to feel, doesn't seem so Ok to feel anymore. Point blank I gotta stop skirting around what I'm trying to get at because the only person I'm talking to here is me.

I. Miss. Him.

I. Am. Lonely.

It sucks, there's so many things I need to be doing for myself. Getting in shape, staying on top of school, getting things done for the cafe. I just keep feeling so inept that nothing is gratifying anymore. What happened when I loved my job so much that it seeped out of my pores?

Well I guess the lie I had been hiding behind finally seemed to come undone. It's official, I don't know why I miss this kid who could not shed two tears for me, nor stand up to his relentless sister and friends regarding what was good for him. Not for me right? Aparently not. I looked at the pictures today from Neff. The two she took from this year, really sum up the entire year we didn't have together. Pathetic right? Well truth is, I miss this kid, or I miss the idea of him, either way I seem pretty happy with myself right now, minus the lonely part. I don't like this lonely feeling, and random drunken makeouts don't seem to be readily flowing my way these days.

Because of this lonliness I feel rediculously insecure, which is completely absurd. I have no reason for this insecurity. My friends don't talk shit about me, I've got a good job, great family, good grades, fantastic job, and more recently zebra flip flops. So what else does this completely competent girl need? Sad to say it ladies, but that's right, a great man to share my time with. To be held. To be appreciated. To be loved basically. Truth be told I understand now why in this day and age we find solice in material possessions, because ladies finding a good guy is pretty damn tough, and when, like myself you are SURROUNDED, more like suffocated by amazing relationships there's no way out but a pair of white heels with brown trim.

Well I'll look at that email I got from him today one more time, and probably wait another two days to email him back. Wow.